Snapshots and Most Embarrassing Moments. Woof.

Day 9: A moment in your day. 

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My baby bump is getting bigger. Which would be annoying if it didn't mean a so-far healthy baby girl =) Definitely got stuck in between some chairs and a table yesterday so learning to move with this basketball in front of me is interesting. 

Day 10: Most embarrassing moment.

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Oh gosh. Where do I start?? I have so many. 

- I descriptively talked about my belly button lint to a girl I was just sitting down to get to know for the first time and then found out that she had absolutely no idea what I was talking about and now thought I was probably the most disgusting person on the face of the planet. I'm pretty sure the phrase, "It smells like butthole" was used, and maybe more than once. 

- I once accidentally asked a middle-aged man a sexually suggestive question while on stage in front of 100 college students. I tried to make up for it...it got worse. 4 years later and people still remind me of this incident.

- Once during a soccer game I ran into the goal post and knocked myself unconscious. 

- Since I've been pregnant, I've gotten into the habit of unbuttoning my jeans when I sit down. At a conference a couple of weeks ago, I got up to get water and accidentally front-flashed one of the directors of our region...basically my bosses, boss. Super awkward confrontation with my fly hanging wide open. 

- When I was a junior in college a group of my friends were all hanging out in an apartment on campus. Nate was tickling me and through fighting back we ended up falling off the couch, me on bottom. He basically squished my pee right out of me and I peed my pants.... 

Full out......

In grey sweatpants.

That's enough for now. I'm sure more will be revealed as time passes. 

Peace out, homies.  

Make a Memory

Day 8: A piece of advice you have for others. Anything at all.

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So today is my Momma's birthday (Momma, if you're not familiar, is what we call our Mothers in Kentucky). There is so much that I can say about her, and even have written about her in the past, but today I thought I would use her advice to pass along to you.

Ever since I can remember she has always had this tradition of "making memories". Not gonna lie, it has been pretty annoying.

Like that time that I was hosting my first meal as a married woman, in our tiny apartment, with our tinier kitchen, with the even tinier still table that served as the only available counter space to cook on. 

I wanted to make a special meal for my friends. Sophisticated even. Something that screamed "ADULT".   

Fast forward to me balling my eyes out in this tiny kitchen as I'm half cutting, half mashing up this onion. I almost complete the task when I turn around and my huge butt knocks over the cutting board with all of the cut up peppers and onions all over the floor. There was no chance even for a 5-second rule. 

I sat on the floor, pulled out my cell phone, and called my momma. SOBBING. 

She listened quietly and interjected only enough to find out that Nate was still alive. She let me finish and then she responded with, "Well Megan, at least you made a memory!"  

I tried to hold it in but I couldn't help it- I laughed. She was right. I still haven't and don't think I'll ever forget that first meal. 

She has dragged us to day-cations that we only remember by how much of a distaster they were. She has held us hostage at the table, talking about seemingly nothing, when all we wanted to do was get up and get on with our nights.
She has forced us to eat outside when it was so cold that we had to bring out blankets to calm our shivering on the back porch.

She has given me a lifetime of memories and more importantly, she has taught me to make memories with the people I love. To go out of my way, inconvenience my 'right now', in order to savor that special moment later.

I may be scared to be a mom, but I know one thing that I will for sure be teaching my daughter. I will teach her to embrace the crazy, to engage in the spontaneity of making memories.

If I could give you one piece of advice it would be this - make a habit of making memories with those around you.  

I'm Afraid of Being A Mom.

Day 7: The thing(s) you're most afraid of.

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This is a difficult one to write. I want this space to be honest and allow for vulnerability. I dream of this space being a communal one where women can speak and write and be completely themselves. Where we can learn from each other and laugh alongside one another. 

And I can't expect any of that to evolve in this little corner of the internet if I'm not modeling that myself. 

I am fearful of many things lately. They have shaken my faith and caused me many nights of crying before the Lord. I'm not bitter or remorseful that they are in my life. They are pushing me further into God's presence. 

I want to be, not a happy shallow woman, but a weathered one. One who has felt fear circle around her and chosen faith. One who has lived not just smiling but crying, not just ignoring the messy but wading through it. 

I'm afraid of being a mom. 

I'm afraid my sweet daughter will wonder why her mom isn't like the rest of the moms, with their long painted nails and pristine white cropped pants.  

I'm afraid my selfishness is too far at the core of me to fully take care of another.  

I'm afraid my struggle to accept my body will be seen by innocent eyes, and affect the way she views her beauty. 

I'm afraid that she will resent me not being able to braid her hair, or sew her a dress, or understand ballet, or well, anything that in my mind mom's are supposed to be good at.  

I'm afraid she will look closely at me, at all of me, and find me wanting. 

**This post is not meant to incite pity, or to gain affirmation. It's only purpose is to give you a glimpse into a soul who is different, that you may not ever feel alone in the world if you have these thoughts.

What are you fearful of?

What do I do?

Day 6: If you couldn't answer with your job, how would you answer the question, 'what do you do'?

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What do I do? This is a fantastic question. I comment all the time that I have the best job ever.  

Really, simply put, I get to walk through life with college students. 

I get to sit with them. Study the Word with them. Rejoice with them. Celebrate their growth. Have fun with them.

We have birthday parties and eat ice cream. We drink lots of coffee and take long walks. We talk, and laugh. We laugh a lot. 

It's fantastic.

But here's the tough part- the part that weighs on my soul and pushes my limits...

I push these women I work with. I challenge them. I cry with them. I grieve with them. I listen to their doubts, their questions, their anger. 

They allow me to go beneath the surface of their hearts and see deeply into their souls. They allow me to listen to the whispers that they don't speak in public. They share with me the dreams they are scared to follow. 

They allow me to point them to Jesus. It's an honor and a privilege. 

It's hard and beautiful. It's painful and it's rewarding. It's exhilarating and exhausting. 

It's ministry. 

My Favorite Quote a la Corrie ten Boom.

Day 4: Your favorite quote and why.

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Corrie ten Boom was an amazing woman. If you haven't read her book, The Hiding Place I suggest you grab some tissues, get comfy and read it. 

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It's a hard read because she had a hard life. She was a Christian in the Netherlands during WWII. She and her family helped hide and smuggle hundreds of Jews away from the Nazis. Eventually they were caught. 

Corrie and her sister Betsie, were sent to Ravensbruck, a harsh and horrible women's concentration camp where less than 50% of the women and children that went into the camp, made it out alive. Corrie lost her father and her sister, Betsie, in the years that followed but continued to stay true to her God and her faith. 

The stories she tells are so vivid. You hurt for her. You cry alongside her. You want to close your eyes to stop the horrific stories she describes, as if your ignorance could undo them from occurring  You want to yell out 'Stop' when you don't want to think about one more tragedy for this sweet woman.

After the war, she traveled around the world and spoke about what happened to her and how she continued to trust in the Lord. After one of her speaking engagements, a man came up to her and held out his hand for her to shake. She realized that this man was one of the SS Officers that had been stationed at Ravensbruck. 

Here is how she describes the encounter in The Hiding Place:

It was at a church service in Munich that I saw him, a former S.S. man who had stood guard at the shower room door in the processing center at Ravensbruck. He was the first of our actual jailers that I had seen since that time. And suddenly it was all there – the roomful of mocking men, the heaps of clothing, Betsie's pain-blanched face. 

He came up to me as the church was emptying, beaming and bowing. “How grateful I am for your message, Fraulein.” He said. “To think that, as you say, He has washed my sins away!” His hand was thrust out to shake mine. And I, who had preached so often to the people in Bloemendaal the need to forgive, kept my hand at my side. 

Even as the angry, vengeful thoughts boiled through me, I saw the sin of them. Jesus Christ had died for this man; was I going to ask for more? Lord Jesus, I prayed, forgive me and help me to forgive him. I tried to smile, I struggles to raise my hand. I could not. I felt nothing, not the slightest spark of warmth or charity. And so again I breathed a silent prayer. Jesus, I prayed, I cannot forgive him. Give me Your forgiveness. 

As I took his hand the most incredible thing happened. From my shoulder along my arm and through my hand a current seemed to pass from me to him, while into my heart sprang a love for this stranger that almost overwhelmed me. And so I discovered that it is not on our forgiveness any more than on our goodness that the world's healing hinges, but on His. When He tells us to love our enemies, He gives, along with the command, the love itself.

From the moment I read that quote it has been a sounding board to my life. The principle of forgiveness can be replaced with any attribute that I try to conjure up on my own will // strength. 

God calls me to be good and he supplies that goodness as I'm walking in His spirit.
God calls me to be patient and he supplies that patience...
God calls me to trust Him and he supplies that faith...
God calls me to be kind and he supplies that kindness...
God calls me to be courageous and he supplies that courage...

This quote is so profound because it reminds me that I don't have it in myself to be what God calls me to be. Instead, I have the privilege of walking with Him daily as He grows those traits and characteristics in me. 

Praise the Lord that I don't have to be all that God calls me to be right now. I don't have to muster up the will or just get really really good at this thing called life. I don't have to get to God because he came to me in the form of Jesus. And he continues to come to me daily as I walk through life. 

I love this quote. I love this lady that I've never met. I love Jesus =) 

What is a quote that has shaped your life?

Things That Make Me Uncomfortable

Day 3: Things that make you uncomfortable

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Blog Every Day in May. It's still here. It's actually only Day 3. Sillies.

This one's a doozie. P.S. Where did that expression come from? What's a doozie? Is it bigger than a pickle? Can you have a mini-doozie?

So, things that make me uncomfortable. We're just gonna go with it.

1. The word 'moist'. Ugh. Just typing it makes my face do this weird scrunched up look.

2. People's lips on my stomach. In my mind, that is super close to where I pee. What if I returned the favor? What if I put my hands on each side of their face and just went full on the mouth? Schweird.


3. Those couples that stand in line with the guy behind the girl and yet his hands are in her front pockets. I just want to go up to them and yell, "HOW IS THAT EVEN COMFORTABLE???"

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4. Thighs. Women's or Men's. Doesn't make a difference. I think they are literally one of the most awkward parts of the body. Talking about them is weird. It's weird how they jiggle. They are just weird. They remind me of raw chicken.....and welcome to my mind =) 


5. The word 'panties'. It just seems dirty. Even dirtier when I imagine it being said with an English accent.

6. The slower a couple feeds each other food, the most uncomfortable I become. Every. Single. Time. 

7. Armpit Hair. But in my defense, who's really ok with armpit hair? It's gross and stringy and awkward and gross.

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8. Naked pregnant lady pictures. You know they exist. Why is it ok for you to get practically nude just to document the hugenss of your belly//boobs//awkward thighs as opposed to when you look normal?? Why can I have a picture of me with no top on above my mantle when I'm pregnant and it's beautiful, but when I'm not pregnant, it's super scandalous??

**Disclaimer: No, it does not matter if you are wrapped in a sheet. Keep it out of the livingroom.

9. The word 'compartment'. This one is out of left field. Not right field, or center field. Nope. Left field. No idea where this came from. Makes me cringe inside a little though.

10. Those wedding pictures where the couple was obviously more into the kiss than the picture...you know what a mean? And of course that's the one they make 125x125.

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I could go on all day...  

What are some things that make you uncomfortable?

How to Annoy your Husband.

You can read yesterday's post of my life in 250 words or less here.

Today's prompt in the Blog Every Day in May Chalenge is to write about something that you know a lot about, or are good at.

Not to brag, but you are about to get an education. Consider this a DIY in relationships. All these methods have been tried and tested by yours truly and proven to annoy or make your husband Grumpy Cat within minutes, if not seconds of application.

Enjoy =)

1. Unload a list of projects you have in your mind that he is to complete, while laying in bed at 2am.

This is a tricky one, because one might think that his grogginess would give you an advantage. That he would be more easy going since you're about to drift off into a blissful night's sleep. Nope. Trust me, the longer you talk and the more detail you give of everything you have for him to do, the more annoyed he will become. He may try to turn over, thinking that you will stop talking. Your annoyance rate will be amplified times a gazillion if you are not fooled by this tactic, and scooch up closer to him so you can continue your list over his shoulder.

2. Acknowledge that you are indeed angry with him, but refuse to tell him why or talk about the subject at all.

You will need willful determination to in order to get your desired results here. You cannot, under any circumstances, cave to his logical pleading that he needs to know what made you upset or frustrated. No matter how much sense his argument makes, no matter the nudging that his dreamy eyes give you, stand your obstinate ground and refuse to move. He will soon give up and you will, in your stiff-necked spirit, think you have won some kind of mind game which you're not sure why you are playing in the first place.

3. Walk back and forth in front of his video game, pausing to dust or try to distract him with meaningless conversation.

Simple, yet effective.

4.  Volunteer him for things and then forget to tell him until, let's say the day before it is supposed to happen.

The closer you can get to the deadline of his appearance/ whatever you volunteered him for, the better. You can also maximize his annoyance by acting like it's not a big deal and not taking responsibility. Oops.

5. Clean the house and forget where you put his stuff.

Want to be praised for cleaning? Don't misplace your husband's important stuff. Want him to be annoyed. Put it somewhere you are sure you won't forget and then have no idea where on God's green earth it is. The longer you have to look, the more annoyed he will get. The less you seem to be actually looking for it, the more annoyed he will get. The more you act like the thing you misplaced wasn't that important anyway...well, you get the idea. 

These are but a few sure-fire methods to annoying your husband. I am never seeking to improve in this area, but always seem to be honing my skills in one way or another =)

PTL that Nate is a gracious man with a short memory.

What ways do you ladies annoy the men in your lives?