The movie itself is pretty funny, but there's one part where Danny's (Adam Sandler) girlfriend Palmer (Brooklyn Decker) is going swimming under this tropical, Hawaiian waterfall. You know the setup...the slow motion taking off of the shirt to reveal the tiny tiny tiny string bikini; the even slower strut to the water just to show off her unbelievably sculpted body; the throwback of her long, blond hair under the waterfall.
As someone who struggles with body image, this scene is not simply a detached image on a television screen: it's painstaking seconds to compare every inch of my body to hers, coveting her chiseled figure and sexually alluring physique.
And then the thoughts that I'm ashamed to even write down flood my mind like an uncontrollable, raging river. Thoughts such as:
*What is Nate thinking about her body?
*Does he wish my body looked like that?
Destructive thoughts leading to an overwhelming sadness and inadequacy.
Then, I looked at Nate, expecting him to be mesmerized by this woman, only to see that he wasn't watching the movie.
He was looking back at me.
My eyes immediately filled with tears, but not before seeing him wink and then hear him simply say, "Hey, I love you."
A phrase I have heard so many times in our relationship, and yet in that moment it was suddenly enriched with such love, passion, intimacy. You see, in that moment, my husband could have chosen to feast his eyes, or let his mind wander on this Victoria Secret model's physique, but instead- he chose MY heart.
He knows my struggle, and he chose to fight with me. He may have said, "I love you", but I heard,
I CHOOSE YOU.
I felt more loved and pursued in that moment than possibly in our entire marriage. My thoughts turned from the temptation to take that downward spiral into self- loathing to, "Dear Lord, what did I do to deserve this man You've given me?"
I'm so thankful and blessed to live life with my husband that chooses me.
22 comments:
Megan,
You are truly blessed to have such a wonderful husband! When you described the way you felt as you watched the scene in the movie, you spoke for millions of women. Unfortunately, many of those women don't have someone by their side who can so easily make them feel better about themselves. In fact, many women have husbands or boyfriends who actively contribute to their low self-esteem, either through indifference or through intentional mental and physical abuse.
Those of us who are blessed with supportive husbands need to remember the gift that God has given us and thank Him everyday. We also have to remember that our husbands struggle with their own feelings of inadequacy. Even though they may not show them or share them, part of our role as helpmates is to recognize these feelings in our husbands and to provide the same comfort and support to them that they do to us. This is a task that is never complete, although it evolves over time.
May God continue to bless you and Nate in your marriage and in your work!
Karen
www.blessedwithhappiness.blogspot.com
This is so wonderful, Megan, and it shows what a marriage is SUPPOSED to be like when you choose to follow Chris together :)
Love this!!! Thanks for being so real and honest. Glad to know I am not the only one who has those thoughts!!! I like to say I always rebuke those thoughts, but I don't, it's just satan's way of coming in between marriages. The funny part is....if I ever question it, my hubby always tells me.....what I have with you is real, I love you... You see as women we think Guys are JUST attracted to Beauty.....no if they love the Lord....they are attracted to real! They see Beauty as women who are real and love the Lord!
My husband does the same. Makes me teary and ever so thankful and humbled at the steal of a man I have!
Ahh I can totally relate to this post. I love that you were so honest and shared this. I love your blog and I am happily following along :)
This is so beautiful, thank you :)
Beautiful! Thank you for sharing!
We host a linky party “Help a Momma Out” every Tuesday. This would be a perfect link up! I would love it if you linked it up! And of course anything else you would like to share is always welcome! Thanks so much!
Kristine
www.jandmseyecandy.blogspot.com
o this is such a sweet post! I LOVE IT:) thanks for sharing!
http://jaysonandashley.blogspot.com/
I know exactly how you feel. My husband will look at me or get up and leave the room when Victoria Secret commercials come on. I love how something so small and simple can be such a huge statement of love and loyalty.
thanks for sharing, i'm stopping by from the follower fest and would love for you to visit my blog and checkout the huge giveaway going on- http://thelovelypoppy.blogspot.com/2011/10/blog-follower-giveaway.html xoxo nicole
Found you through followerfest! Loving your blog and I have to say this title is what made me come over and visit you. GOOD ON YOU! Your family is so sweet, what an awesome husband!
Great post. Following you from followers fest!
Just saying Hi from Style Outside the Box! We would love to do a link swap with you! :) New Follower from Oct Fest! :) Come say HI at http://www.styleoutsidethebox.blogspot.com/ Don't Forget to Enter Our Blog Fest Contest!
Wow. I totally relate, but my husband would definitely be checking her out.
Thank you for being so honest. I don't have the guts to say things like that on my blog. New follower here.
The media can be so tough on us as women. I'm glad your husband made you feel loved!
Love this sweet post!!
I am stopping by from the Follower's Fest. Love your blog!!
This totally made me tear up with happy tears heheh
thats so sweet and I can relate!
My hubby would do the same thing (most likely) ha.
Found you through the fall fest :-)
Awesome post! Visiting from Followers fest
This is really sweet. I'm happy I stumbled on your blog because reading this just made me smile.
-Stacie
www.readjame.com
This is such a wonderful story. I have recently begun a struggle with body image and I can totally relate to the feeling that a beautiful woman is on the screen or near by - and you're sure he's looking at her... only to find him looking at you. It's a measure of relief and joy. I'm glad your husband is fighting off that negative image.
God finds you beautiful and created you just the way you are.
You my dear are so blessed! He did choose you! And God choose you guys to be together. I struggle with my body image and seriously Jennifer Aniston has stylist, personal trainers, a special diet, photoshop and all those type of things. I doubt she's happy! You're happy and so blessed :)
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